Dear Family,
Just like us, C.S.Lewis wondered why some of our asking goes unanswered. He wrote: “I have no answer to my problem, though I have taken it to about every Christian I know.” However, although he felt that part of the problem was perhaps his lack of faith, this did not leave him skeptical or cynical about asking. On the contrary. Why? Because he did not actually believe that the refusal of asking, the unanswered asking, was the main issue, as there were so many other possible reasons for unanswered requests. But are there enough reasons to close the gap between our asking and God’s apparent non-answering? Lewis suggested a couple: asking for what is not good, and asking for something, the granting of which, would involve the refusal of another’s request. Though unanswered asking is a permissible discussion, I would argue that there are not enough reasons to close the gap completely. Though I agree with some that there is a reason for every unanswered prayer, I do not believe that they are all discoverable, or that it is even necessary to discover them. The faith that we need to ask is the same faith that we need to be operative when an answer is not forthcoming. Reasons alone will never close the gap.
That agreed, on Sunday I gave a very compact and intense presentation (six messages in one!) of some possible ways to understand unanswered asking that were not intended to be definitive or prescriptive, but an attempt to point out some of the ways of ordering our understanding of unanswered asking, without it being an inflexible classification. There is no way I can do justice to the content of the message in this form, or the range of reference that I employed. Suffice it that I just list the different points.
Unlistened to not unanswered (disqualifications) I am referring here to asking that is not answered by God because it is not listened to by God at all, for the reasons given in scripture for a divine refusal to listen, including: choosing other lordship, willful disobedience, meaningless religion, living a double life, refusing compassion to others, disregard for injustice or a denial of justice, appearance without reality, unconfessed and unrepented sin, deliberate rejection of God’s commands, pride, idolatry, ritualistic repetition, unforgiveness, disunity, enmity, hypocrisy, double-mindedness, broken marital relationships, condemnation, not asking according to His will and word, asking with wrong motives, from wrong sources, for wrong things – failure to ask at all.
Inappropriate to ask (disavowals) Just as it is allowable to study possible reasons for unanswered asking, it is also sometimes advisable to give a little more forethought to what we are actually asking about, to ensure that what we are asking for is not going to be subject to a divine disavowal, according to the revealed will and word of God. Sometimes, there are more questions we should perhaps ask before asking, that ascertain what to ask for, how to ask, why we ask. Spurgeon thought that: “Some prayers would never be offered if men did but think … See whether it is an assuredly fitting thing to ask.” In response to something asked of Him Jesus said: “You don’t know what you are asking.” (Matthew 20:22) This suggests that there may be much of our asking that would never make it to the official request stage if we had considered more carefully and thoughtfully the ways and the will of the Lord for our lives. God can take no responsibility or give any support to something asked which is inappropriate, which is non-sense or which contravenes God-given laws of nature, or which contradicts His own nature and character, His will and His word.
The waiting game (delays) This is such a common experience that I spent most time on it, and you will have to listen to the download to get all the points made, both about its challenges as well as its fruits. Scripture records something that is often asked of God by psalmists and by prophets: “Lord, how long?” The reason that delayed answers get labeled so quickly as ‘unanswered’ ones has to do with the difficulty of waiting. Is anything happening when nothing’s happening? We can relate to the voices of scripture: “How long must your servant wait?” (Psalm119:84) “How long O Lord?” (Revelation 6:10) They were told to “wait a little longer”! “How long till you restore the kingdom?” (Acts 1:6) It is interesting that the last thing the disciples ever said to Jesus was this unanswered question. Waiting requires patience and therein lies the rub. Scripture exhorts us to “eagerly wait.” John Stott puts it perfectly: “We are to wait neither so eagerly that we lose our patience, nor so patiently that we lose our expectations, but eagerly and patiently together.” There is no question that delays can be dangerous to spiritual health. Spurgeon warned his congregants that they had an enemy who opposed their relationship with the Lord and would sponsor any wedge between them: “But we must be careful not to take delays in prayer for denials … We must not suffer Satan to shake our confidence in the God of truth by pointing to our unanswered prayers. Unanswered petitions are not unheard.” Yes, he acknowledged that delays were great “trials of faith” but he was as eager to point out, as we must, that delayed answers also “give us support to honor God through our steadfast confidence in Him.”
Taking no for an answer (denials) Unlike ‘disavowals’, I am talking here about asking which may be denied even though it is likely be an appropriate desire, a legitimate request given present perceptions, a reasonable inquiry given current understanding. It is the apparent acceptability and desirability of what is asked for that makes the acceptance of a denial so difficult. Although it is true that delays are not denials, it is easy to understand why an interminable delay will be assumed to be a denial. Having said that, there seem to be denials. Scripture presents us with some examples. What is interesting is that they were all experienced by stellar saints, one of them being the saintliest of all, Jesus. Check the message to refresh your mind on the examples I gave, not only of Jesus, but of Moses, David and Paul. If denials were the membership qualification for this alumni group we would perhaps be less concerned about them.
Assented to but not answered (deferrals) Some unanswered prayers are perhaps better understood as divinely willed deferrals. Our asking is necessary and timely as it is being ceaselessly expressed, but it is being ‘stored’ to be answered another day, or another time that is even beyond our sojourn on earth. Answers are about timing (the moment) as well as substance (the matter): “in an acceptable time have I heard you.” (Isa 49:8) In Scripture we observe that what is often perceived as unanswered asking is in fact a matter of God’s timing: “in the fullness of time … at the right time … when his time has come…” (Gal. 4:4; Rom. 5:6; 2 Thess. 2:6) In the incarnation narratives after 400 years of unanswered asking, this phrase litters the text: “This took place to fulfill …” There are those deferrals that will await their activation in future ages. This has been such a provocation to the asking church through the centuries, as it asked for God’s kingdom to come, as it pleaded for generations yet unborn, as it cried, “Even so come, Lord Jesus.” We could argue, as Thomas Goodwin did, that the denouement of history is going to be the fulfillment of millions of unanswered because-deferred prayers. “That may be one reason why God will do such great things towards the end of the world even because there has been so great a stock of prayers going, for so many ages, which is now to be returned.” Who would have thought that the return of our Lord was related to the return of our deferred asking. Again, “Even so come, Lord Jesus.”
Creative ‘unanswers’ (deprivations, discretions, diversions ) It is never the heart of God to give us less than His goodness determines for us. These deprivations may feel like withholding of an answer but they are not the withdrawal of God’s presence. On the contrary, when we feel there is no response, it is the responsiveness of love that seeks desired relationship not just desired request. Peter Grieg affirms this: “Sometimes He may deprive us of something in order to draw us to Someone.” There is a saying that suggests that sometimes the answer to our asking is not rejected but redirected. Divine discretions do not deny the requests but apply their intentions and desires to different applications and outcomes. After our asking has pitched the way that things need to be, it is as if God says, “You are on the right track, but how about we do it like this not that?” Some times these redirections feel like radical diversions. Abraham’s prayer for Ishmael was answered in Isaac. What Moses asked for himself was to be fulfilled in Joshua. David’s prayers for the child who died revert to Solomon. David asked to build the Temple, but again, the answers were reserved for Solomon. Though the specific thing asked for was not delivered in the terms in which it was asked, nonetheless, this asking was not ‘unanswered’ but applied in a way that advanced God’s glory, fulfilling his renown more than just my request.
It is one thing to learn to plead the case, and another to learn when to rest it. We plead God’s character and covenant; we plead His will and His Word; we plead the precedents both biblical and historical; we plead Christ. We do so with all the cognitive and affective means available, with godly knowledge and godly emotions, and with all the best understanding and information at our disposal. But when all that is done there is one thing more that is needed for our asking to be effective, especially if we have concluded our asking with an ‘Amen’ thus declaring ‘Let it be.’ We need to rest the case and know how to submit to the divine deliberations and decisions of the Judge who will always do what is right, by all parties: the asker, the asked of and the asked for. As Goodwin concluded: “When a man hath put up prayers to God he is to rest assured that God will in mercy answer his prayers; and to listen diligently and observe how his prayers are answered.”
Yes, there are disqualifications and disavowals, there are delays and denials, there are deferrals and deprivations, discretions and diversions. There is no fear in recognizing these, though there may be pain in acknowledging them. However, I will choose to put my tears in bottle before I put my unanswered asking in the trash can. I will rest my case, and despite being presently unanswered, wait patiently and rest assured.
Pastorally and patiently yours,
Stuart